of growing old and aching bones...

My whole friggin' body hurts. Every bone and muscle must be corporally complaining right now. But for what? I haven't made them endure any exercise or any hard, manual labor. I just exposed my joints and muscles to the extremely loveable sport of bowling last Saturday evening. And now I am paying the price. :( Last night, I had to literally drown myself in paracetamol so I can get some sleep. I shudder at the thought of my condition on Thursday morning as Wednesday night we plan to attend aero box and aero jazz lessons...
I wasn't able to go out last night due to this pain in my arms, my shoulders and my head. Not that I would have went out if my conditions were normal, as I am currently working on a shoestring budget for February. Sigh. Makes me sometimes resent the fact that I have to give a large portion of my earnings to my family. Makes me sometimes envy people who do not carry this burden. It is not that I do not have the choice -- the choice to not give and withhold are always there -- but the situation is such that there is no choice at all. That there may be an option B, but doing option B would make the situation far worse still and not produce any good at all, and thus there is essentially no choice in the matter but to go for option A -- that is to give. That is my fundamental option (for better or for worse).
You know how the cliche goes about women who put their family first and they end up in lonely spinsterhood? That is a future I am so afraid of (knock on wood). What if I become so engrossed in putting my sister through school, taking care of my parents and over-all being so occupied with family matters that I totally ignore or put aside my own personal life? Am I doomed to a love-less, lonely future? Will I be a crabby, mad spinster when I grow older? (shudder, shudder, shudder).
Ok, this post is getting too depressing. Must be the symptoms of nearly growing a year older. Good morning to you and to me!

Crazy, naughty and definitely bitchy....

I must have been so tired yesterday because I woke up at around noon today without even realizing that my roommates have left already! Last night we just watched a movie (ELEKTRA) and ate at Fuji's. But it was perhaps the other night's bar activities (read: dancing and dancing) which must have left me pretty tired because I fell like a rock when I arrived home.

My roommates arrived home around half past one and I was pretty pissed to realize that I wasn't part of their luncheon plans. They didn't even ask! And I had not eaten lunch so I could wait for them. Pissed would definitely be a crass understatement (I got so pretty dissed that as usual, I ended up crying). My pet peeves in life are eating alone and being left behind and they all managed to accomplish that in one clean sweep! If they don't care too much for my company during eating time, then I for one am not forcing it on them. Hmp.

Yes, I am still sulking a bit. And so I am pouring this all out in this post because writing it down on my ballpen-friendly diary would be such a waste (and my notebook probably wouldn't survive it) and my hands couldn't keep up with the furious speed of my thoughts right now. Hopefully, I will be a bit calm and rational later, but how can I be right now when I am still hungry as I have not eaten my lunch yet? (Obviously, I am in a childish frame of mind, but indulge me. I have promised myself anyway this wouldn't happen often).

Later tonight, I will be joining some other friends for bowling, dinner and movie. Hopefully, I will be able to get there safely as I do not even know where the place is. And hopefully, I would be in a much better frame of mind then. Better yet, maybe throwing the bowling ball would be a good way to relieve my stress and other problems crowding my mind right now.

I want to watch Lovers in Paris again. hahaha. I know the story of an unaffected, cute girl and a millionaire businessman is such a cliche already but it is just really funny, kilig and relaxing to watch. It is different from meteor garden in that the characters really show intimate moments like just holding hands or supporting each other...I don't know. It makes me wish I will fall in love soon...hahahaha.

I have to do some serious chatting with my aunt first. Catch you later. (see, my mood is better already).

The dread of the morning has passed. I have gone through my workload remarkably quick today and it has been an uneventful Thursday. My passing nausea has quickly passed (due to hyperacidity you dirty-minded fool!). I have to go home early tonight due to pressing laundry needs which I have to finish fairly quickly if I hope to join my friends for the farewell party.

I wore pants today :( as I have ran out of weareable skirts to wear. Wearing skirts just seems to increase my estrogen level to heightened proportions. hahaha. Note to self: buy more skirts (and Ria did promise to help me choose which printed skirts and matching tops to buy as I am hopelessly incapable of such decisions).

Oh and my cousin informed me that SMB suffered a heartbreaking lost to the 'lucky' Gin masters. Thanks to a 'tsamba' shot by M.C. I feel sad but I feel confident that the team can bounce back from this debacle and get back into their winning form again (but then last year, when their winning stride was cut short by an unexpected loss, they never won anything in the semis afterwards.) I hope they won't be like that again.

Did I mention that last Tuesday, my friends and I had our first Thai language lesson? It was fun but I pronounced all the words horribly, horribly wrong. My Cebuano lineage and accent contributed to my inability to be softspoken and sound even remotely sweet and high pitched (the Thai sound). I can't be malamya, malambing or even malumay. BISDAK dyud ko!!! No wonder the taxi drivers can't understand me when I give a simple direction like LIAO SAI (turn left). They all give me this blank expressions like they couldn't understand me. I pronounced it perfectly (I did! I did!) but with the correct intonation. dili mi magkasinabot!!! ambot nlng dyud. hmp. isog ra daw kaayu ko.

BISDAK LAGI KO!!! KAHIBAW NAKO ANA!!! DUGAY RA!!! hehehe.

Good day? Not!

Do you ever have that funny feeling in the pit of your stomach (no, I am not talking about taking a crap) when you know that something bad is going to happen but you just don’t know specifically? That tiny, queasy, I’m-about-to-puke-my-guts-out kind of feeling when you know you are about to take the heat and not looking forward to it?

Well, I have that feeling now and I feel so damn uneasy. It’s not the best feeling to have in the morning. I don’t recommend you starting the day with this. I did something wrong—again – and hopefully, I won’t get fired for this. Why do I always end up with these kind of mistakes? Ever since high school, I keep having the same problems. It’s a miracle I even got to graduate. Am I just the very picture of mediocrity or what? L

I’ve drank my first cup of coffee for the day. Curiously, that failed to cheer me up at all. I need cheering up!!! And to top it all off, my cousin has not reported if SMB lost or won last night. Great day. And here I thought that starting the day with Nescafe would ensure having one. That commercial is so dead wrong.

Its a PBA Night!!!! SMB vs Ginebra!

Just before I left Cebu for Bangkok, San Miguel was losing. The way they played their games was so painful to the heart and irritating to watch that I just all but gave up on viewing their games. I would only end up feeling really mad, annoyed and violent (not a very good emotional condition to be in).

Now, a month and a half into my Bangkok stay and I heard that they are on a winning streak since after the regular round!!! Imagine to my chargrin that had I but waited a few more days before leaving the Philippines then I at least could have brought with me the sweet memory of a healthy Danny Seigle playing with the elegant finesse and sheer intensity of yore (yore equivalent to 2000 and 2001 here).

So here I am, patiently waiting in an internet cafe for live updates from well-meaning friends and fellow SMB fanatics. Would they win? Would they prevail over an arrogant Caguioa (who had declared they would win over smb and lose just one game). Ha and ha and ha! I am so sorry to all Ginebra fans out there...but that kind of prediction from a player who scored less than five points in a game during the fourth quarter should not merit any kind of credibility at all. If someone has the gumption to make that kind of daring (and hopefully, untrue) prediction should try to beef up his statement with action.

(Hopefully SMB wins tonight so I don't have to eat my words). Last night, I dreamt that my cousin told me that unfortunately San Miguel lost to Ginebra in the deciding game. But isn't it old wive's tale that the opposite of the dream usually happens? Then following this well defined and well proven logic, San Miguel should be a shoo-in for the win tonight then, right?

Too bad we only get three English speaking channels on our cable here in Bangkok (two and a half. Discovery channel sometimes is dubbed in Thai. grr!! ). I wish we had a Filipino channel. Calling ABS CBN...please have pity on Filipinos working in Thailand and send your satellite signals here to us...and also broadcast the PBA games too for that matter. :)

Obviously as I have been talking about San Miguel for most of the blog here, I obviously did not do anything exciting today. Work...work...and then there is more work.... :( Oh and had a bit of chat with my parents who are a bit worried about my whereabouts here (probably because of my mention that some of our German friends/trainees visited our room before and I indubitably left out the part about it being a party with lots of other people around...my bad... :) ).

Yun lang. bye. hehehe. Im hungry na. I will just call my cousin tomorrow for updates. yehey! my first blog. hahaha. mwah!